Let's Have a Boob Celebration [PG]

Oh, Maggie!  You're so SCANDALOUS!  You just wrote BOOB in the title, and now have written BOOB two more times!

Yes, yes, prepare to be scandalized: but only at a PG-rating level.  Shirts are not coming off, no skin will be exposed, but this is a celebration - a necessary celebration - of nourishment, sacrifice, late nights, early mornings, awkward situations, and good ol' bonding time.

Sorry to disappoint, but this ultimately comes down to nursing.  Was your baby bottle fed?  Don't leave the party!  This is a celebration, remember, and everyone can join in.

I dedicate these ramblings to all the women out there that ever attempted to nurse or had just the thought of breast feeding.  You are amazing, do you know that?  This is for you, who had headaches from dealing with various contraptions - shields, pumps, pads, boppys, pillows... - to help (or possibly hinder?) you with nursing; who found odd corners of the world to whip it out so your child would not go hungry; who lost countless hours of sleep to lurch out of bed at the wee hours of the night; who cracked, and bled, and cried when nursing got difficult; who got odd looks (or harsh words) from strangers or family who just didn't understand; who sacrificed lunch hours or bathroom breaks or moments to just breathe in order to pump; who had a baby who couldn't take bottles; who had infections or inflammation; who had a baby who took bottles too well; who dealt with milk supply issues (too little or too much); who made it any amount of time nursing.  You have earned yourself a standing ovation, dear, sweet momma.

I've shared nursing tales in the past - nursing ninjas, crying over spilt milk, etc. - but I am no longer a part of the nursing crowd.  I made it a full year, and it was a splendid but difficult year.  To see how I could contribute to my son's growth so directly, was incredible.  For the first six months of his life, his only nourishment came from me, not to mention the months in utero prior to his birth.  Isn't that amazing?  It reminds me how beautifully we are made that we can provide so much to our children (just as God has provided for us), especially in their first moments of life.  And yes, I had to bring it to a point about faith, because the miracle of creation still baffles and mystifies me.  Being a mother has only heightened my awe.

As for my own nursing journey, it is just like motherhood: wonderful, difficult, amazing, and stressful.  It took a great toll on my body, at times to the point of malnourishment, and I've dallied through various cup-sizes, but I have arrived a year later with a healthy boy, and a body changed but recuperated.  And as it's easy to use Bloggieland to give you the impression that I have never struggled, I tell you these confessions:  

I have nursed in restaurants (Qdoba and Panera just to name a couple), bathroom stalls, a car dealership board room, park benches, backseats of cars, airplanes, airports, mall sofas, church lounges, an emergency room, parks, a wood shop, libraries, dressing rooms, ... and those are just the instances I can remember at the moment.

At ten months, we started supplementing goats milk with pumped milk because my supply was starting to fade.  At two weeks prior to Quincy's birthday, we swapped the goat's milk for formula to ensure he was getting the necessary vitamins, and the last time I nursed was his birthday.  He now drinks Vitamin D milk (though not as much as we'd like), and has a nighttime formula bottle because we haven't figured out another way to put him down for the night.

For those of you still nursing, know that your efforts do not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Of course I must mention to those who use formula: a big kuddos to you, too.  I'm awkward with formula.  You have to get the temperature right, mix the right proportions, and if you're doing it in the middle of the night with a wailing baby?  Ugh.  It takes time, your wallet takes a hit, and then if they have a reaction to the formula and you have to seek out other alternative(s)...?  You are doing great by providing nourishment for your child.  You are part of this celebration, too.

And finally, I don't want to terrify any future parents out there and make you think that nursing is horrible and difficult, etc. etc.  It has been an incredible journey, with some difficulties, but the positives out-weighed the hardships.  So let's turn it back to the celebration!

Blow out a candle, raise a glass, stuff a piece of cake in your mouth, for there is much to celebrate!

Go Boobs!

~M

The Thankful Cowl

I am sorry to say, but I don't think I've written this before:

I am so thankful for YOU.

I've been more than surprised when people have come up to me and said, "I love your blog", to which I turn behind me to see if a more qualified blogger is peering over my shoulder.  My blog?  Little ol' me? I've had people quote things back to me, or laugh with me as I recount writing about a specific post.  Or even better, it has inspired others to share their stories with me; something that makes me feel like there is one big community out there that just wants to hang out and be friends.  Very cool.

So for today, with the approach of Thanksgiving, I'd like to tell you THANK YOU, from the very bottom of my heart.  This community of joy and love - that has been there even when joy and love seemed out of reach - has made this blog possible.

This post is not meant to toot my own horn, but to trumpet from the rooftops that YOU are AWESOME.

With all this mushy gushy stuff in mind, I wanted to "gift" you a simple crochet pattern.  I realize not everyone out there crochets, but if it brings a bit of love and warmth to you, then it has done its job.  I call it, simply enough, The Thankful Infinity Cowl.

 

Please enjoy, and know that YOU - yes, you who are taking the time to read my strange musings and give me encouragement in the things I write about; you who have known me forever or just by reading this post; you who have written comments, liked things on Facebook, or have encouraged me in person; you who related to my struggles and my joys; you who came back a second time to read - you, are such a blessing to me.

-------

Thankful Infinity Cowl – Crochet Pattern

Materials

• Worsted Weight Yarn
• Crochet Hook Size Q
•  Darning Needle (for weaving in ends)

Abbreviations

• r = row
• ch = chain
• sc = single crochet
• dc = double crochet
• st = stitch
• sl st = slip stitch

Sizing
Listed are instructions for small, medium, and large based on the number of chains that are added in the beginning.  So, for a smaller size (think teenager or a thin-necked adult) chain 50, for a medium chain 55, and for a large chain 60.

Directions

R1:  Using two strands at once, ch 50 for small, 55 for medium, or 60 for large,  sl st to first ch. (note: be careful not to twist the chain at all!)

R2:  sc in same st as sl st from round 1, sc in ea st around using only the top loops.

R3 – R7:  ch 2, dc in ea sti around, sl st to join.

R8:  ch 1, sc in ea st around, sl st to join.  finish and weave in ends.

Permission to Use this Pattern

My only guideline for using this pattern is that you make it for someone in whom you are THANKFUL.  If that means you are thankful for your customers at a craft show or your Etsy shop, then by all means sell it!  I ask that you please reference this site when using the pattern, and let the receiver know that it was made in a mindset of thanks and love.

-------

A quick shout out to my amazing husband, Brad, for whom I am also so very thankful.  And of course, my sweet baby boy, Quincy.

And to YOU:  Thanks again, friends.  You mean the world to me.

~M

P.S. To all of  my Ravelry Friends - thanks for stopping by!  I'd love to see pictures of your final projects, so please post through your projects page or email me a photo (and let me know if I can share it on this blog!).  

Welcome to BloggieLand

I PREPARE ALL THE MEALS FOR MY FAMILY, AND THEY ARE

NUTRITIOUS AND MADE ENTIRELY FROM SCRATCH.

MY CHILD SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT,

EVERY NIGHT, FOR 14 HOURS STRAIGHT.

MY BODY MADE IT THROUGH PREGNANCY AND
CHILDBIRTH WITHOUT SCARS, MARKS, OR WOUNDS.

Now let's get real.

Are any of these things I've listed actually true?  No.  Or, rather, Heck No.  You know, you shouldn't always trust your narrator.

I'll admit, I'm a happy ending kind of gal; maybe that's why I like sappy movies, or can sing along to most Disney movie soundtracks.  There's a reason why one of the categories you'll find to the right of this page is called Triumph and Encouragement instead of Oh Crud, I'm Struggling with Something Yet Again.  I don't write often about struggles I'm having while in the thick of it, partly because I don't run to my computer when I'm knee deep in stress, but also because I don't want to come crawling by my fingertips, typing to you, having failed.  I'd rather deal privately with something, and then come out on top, a Champion of Motherhood.

Here in BloggieLand, it's so easy to give the impression that I have it all figured out, that my child is perfect, and that all I do during the day is crochet, sew, and cook.  But man, is that anything further than the truth.  I read a few months ago on a blog (a professional blog by someone I don't know personally) that they felt that all the blogs they followed were written by perfect, creative, incredibly inspiring people - everything they wrote about showed how perfect they were and had everything together.  This specific blogger, in turn,  hoped to be More Real to her readers by sharing more of her struggles and quirks.  So, instead of coming to you saying Woot, Woot!  I Have Succeeded!  I Solved All My Problems!  I come to you, saying:  

I Have Struggled.  I Am Struggling.  I Will Struggle.

I'm human, I'm a stresser, and we all know I'm a bawler.  I can't do it all, and I don't do it all.  And because I can't do it all, I want to share some of these struggles so I can be More Real to you.

Body Image.  Once a week I seriously consider shaving my head.  Gone are the luscious waves of golden hair, strong and thick, that I enjoyed combing my fingers through when I was pregnant.  Here (seemingly) to stay are the weak, easily broken strands that cling to my scalp, awkward, fuzzy, and ornery.

And the scars etched in my skin?

They are a reminder of the battle my body has gone through (cue Pat Benatar's Love Is A Battlefield song), while my slow recovery after having a child is yet another reminder that mental scars can carry so much more weight than those that physically mar our flesh.

Coffee Vs. Water.  Most of the time I still drink decaffeinated coffee (confession: I do also lean on caffeine after having a rough night or Zombie Mommy lurches around my living room), but I honestly drink more coffee (decaf or otherwise) than water most days.  Yep, it's the best way to dehydrate yourself, leaving you weak, tired, and woozy.  But, it tastes so good, and the feeling of that hot mug in my hands, the smell of the steaming liquid - it's such a comfort.  How could I pass up another cup?

For meals, I'm trying my best to feed Quincy well, and yet I leave my own nutritional standards by the wayside when it comes to filling my own belly.  As someone who has low blood sugar issues (any other Hypoglycemics out there?), I try my best to eat every two to three hours and lay-off the sugar, but it's still a struggle - I miss getting food when I need it most, I munch on something sugary that only exacerbates a low blood sugar spell, or I let the crabbiness of said spell guide my attitude for the day.

Nighttime.  Quincy is now ten months old and I still nurse him during the night.  Most times, it's just once during those early morning hours, but it's still getting up.  Is Quincy sleeping through the night?  That's everyone's favorite question these days, and sometimes I mentally hang my head, wishing I didn't have to say, Well, no, he's not.

I know in my heart that he does better when he eats once during the night - he wakes up happy instead of agitated, he eats a good breakfast because he's not overly-upset from a barren belly, therefore he naps and eats well throughout the day from having a good start at breakfast.  But still (don't you love that phrase?).  But.  Still.  It's an issue of pride - my own silly pride -, because the Sleeping Through The Night Badge is not something I have tacked onto my motherhood belt yet.

Inadequacy.  Hello.  I'm a Perfectionist.  I think too much about what other people think of me.  I try to be casual, calm, play it cool, but I worry.  As you can see from the issues stated above, I have times where I feel inadequate.  Inadequate as a mother, a wife, a woman, a friend, a follower of Christ,... the list continues.  Feeling that twinge of inadequacy can be good at times - it tells you that you have things to improve - but you shouldn't let it consume you as I do at times.


This post will still be categorized under "Triumph and Encouragement", because I want you, as readers, to come away from this post feeling optimistic.  Despite these struggles, there are great things to be thankful for (case in point for me: my family below).  I think it's easy to get caught up in the Perfectness of other people's lives (are we still trading lunches like in grade school?), instead of knowing that everyone struggles with different things.  No one is perfect, and if they are, they're probably bored out of their mind.

Don't get me wrong, BloggieLand is a great place to share so much, but don't be fooled.  Correction: Don't let me fool you;  I'm still figuring it all out like the next person.

Imperfectly yours,

~M

De-Tech & De-Tox

Do you ever think in social media?  Oh, I could write a Facebook status about this... I should take a photo for Instagram! ... I could write this story on the blog... 

Now, don't get me wrong: You're obviously reading this blog, and I am obviously writing this blog, so I'm not trying to storm the castle of social media with torches and pitchforks.  Technology is an amazing thing - we can learn about the lives of the people we know (or don't know, for that matter), tell the world how we're feeling, what we're doing, how we're doing it... etc.  Social media is a way of making our global space feel a lot more like a small community.

I don't know about all of you, but I'm needing a bit of De-Teching in my life.  Why, you ask?  Because my smart phone seems to be another organ that helps me function each day, and my eyes could use a good break from staring at something that glows.

I also worry that this is what Quincy thinks his Mommy looks like:

Smartphone Face

It sure gives a new meaning to The Son of Man painting, don't you think?  (Hint: I'm making a very poorly formulated apple joke...)  Well, because we want our son to know what our faces look like, and what our laughter sounds like, and for him to learn from us in every way, I've decided I need to do a little detox session with technology, by de-teching my life a bit.

No, I won't be flushing my cell phone down the toilet, or torching my computer in the back yard, but I do need to work on distancing myself a bit from the various screens that plague my eyes during the day.  Here is what I'm proposing to myself:

1.  Decreasing (Pointless) Screen Time.  Cutting back on the use of apps like Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram during the day should save me some time.  Instead of checking my phone whenever an alert arrives, I will instead check it while Quincy naps, or while grabbing lunch, or in the evening once Quincy is down for the night.  As a former Nine-to-Fiver, I was accustomed to having my phone silenced, my personal email unattainable, and being able to devote my time to the task at hand.  Now, as a Stay-at-home-Mom, my task at hand is loving, caring for, playing with, and teaching my son.  And as someone who grew up before cell phones were around, I knew how to play outside, read books, and entertain myself when the power went out.  Why should it be any different with the raising of my child?

2.  Quality, Not Quantity. Have you ever sat at your computer, paging through blogs, cruising down the Facebook news feed until you've read everyone's updates, or read through countless pages on Pinterest until your eyes have blurred?  I have.  I do a lot.  Now, I'm not saying that these aren't great things - again, here I am writing a blog!  I had a Pinterest Party recently!  You probably found this page through Facebook!  And, of course, I love that you've taken the time to read this.  What I'm trying to say is that screen time should have a purpose.  If I'm just killing time instead of doing something of purpose, then I may need to move on to a more meaningful activity.  When I do sit down to read blogs, pin something on Pinterest, catch up on Facebook, or see the latest images coming through Instagram, I can have concentrated time to review those sites and apps, and then be done with it, and skip the aimless browsing I've become accustomed too.

3.  Replace an evening of TV/movies with music or conversation.  Lately, I've been busying my hands with some crochet and sewing projects.  The great thing about crocheting and knitting is you can also watch a movie or television show.  It's easy to just flip the screen on, busy my hands with yarn or fabric, and zone out.  Instead, I plan to leave the screen off while still enjoying my Yarn Time, but play some good music, chat with my husband, or - even better - do both.

4.  Stop Using the "Just In Case" Excuse.  I bring my phone with me to the kitchen, just in case someone calls. Then, I bring my phone to the bathroom while I shower, just in case I get a text message.  Later, I bring my phone on a walk, just in case I get a response to a post on Facebook.  Will it really be the end of the world if I don't respond right away to a text message?  Or if I get a voicemail instead of answering my phone on the second ring?  Or read every Facebook notification as it arrives?  While using the Just In Case Excuse, I actually continue to set myself up to burn more time haphazardly.

And now a reality check...

I should clarify that this isn't a big protest against technology or social media (like I said, let's put away the pitchforks and torches); I'm sharing, instead, that I struggle with how I spend my time.  Social media was and is a great help to me, especially in the first months after Quincy was born.  I was comforted by friends going through similar situations, I could connect to the outside world even if it was difficult to physically leave the house, and it helped stave off some of the loneliness that can be accompanied to motherhood.

Admittedly, I also watched TONS of TV those first weeks, and I think it was helpful to cope with sleep deprivation, have noise for Quincy to fall asleep to, and to take it easy in recovering from the birth.  I since have limited my own television time to after Quincy is down, but again, this isn't a fight against television.

I use my smartphone for many practical things: checking the weather, making a grocery list, looking up vocabulary in Spanish, counting rows in crochet, taking photos of my ever-growing-baby, connecting with family and friends, and - of course - making phone calls.  It isn't logical to completely reject the use of my smartphone, or email, or internet, but be aware of when it's time well spent, and when it isn't.

At the end of the day, I could really take some cues from my own son.  If Quincy is having a fussy day, I've found going outside seems to appease him (most of the time).  And he doesn't need a shiny screen to entertain him.  What's one of his favorite toys these days?  A container with plastic utensils inside.  Plain.  Simple.  Oldschool fun.

Thank you for reading; I hope this has been social media with purpose and meaning!

~M

The Other Side of Nursing

We've talked previously about breastfeeding challenges (and how to channel your inner ninja), but we have reached a point where we need to talk about pumping.  If ever a nursing mom needs to get out of the house without the baby - whether it be for errands or a day at work - pumped milk is a necessity.

I won't touch on every point of pumping, but thought I would share some challenges I have faced**.  But, DON'T WORRY.  No demonstrations or creepy footage - this will be approved writing for all ages, though I'm not certain all ages will find the topic riveting.  Here goes:

TOP FIVE CHALLENGES OF PUMPING

1. Breast milk does not have an unlimited supply available all the time.  Some women can produce large quantities, but it's all about telling your body to produce enough.  Nursing is a curious and amazing thing because your body will produce milk as it is needed.  When baby goes through a growth spirt and they need more, your body will kick into gear and produce more over the next few days (or until whenever the growth spirt tapers off).  Similarly, if you begin to ween the baby from nursing (or they begin to ween themselves), your supply will begin to decrease.

Rice Cereal + Milk

So what does this mean when you need to pump in addition to nursing for a night out or to add to baby cereal?  You have to tell your body to produce more, which means pumping when you don't have any left or adding in extra sessions outside of nursing.  For me, this usually means midnight pumping or ridiculous-middle-of-the-night-why-am-I-awake-at-three-A-M sessions.

On a side note: I have to give props to my dad on this one.  He babysat Quincy when Brad and I had our first date night out, and I had pumped ahead of time to ensure Quincy would have enough food.  Upon returning to my dad's house to pick up Quincy later in the evening, he told us how Quincy did eating, sleeping, etc., and then told me, "Don't forget the extra milk in the fridge.  I know how hard you worked to get it."  He may not have noticed, but I got a little choked up after hearing those words.  Having someone recognize the hard work put into setting aside sustenance for my son really resonated with me as a new mom.  Often times, that hard work goes unnoticed (when milk is warmed up, never eaten, and tossed; when milk is pumped and forgotten in the diaper bag without an ice pack, and tossed; when milk is refused by a fussy baby, and tossed...), which can be heart-wrenching when you've spent a lot of time and energy producing and collecting it. {Thanks, Papa!}

2. Pumping is a lonely chore.  At least with nursing, you have a cuddly baby hanging out with you.  As for pumping, you have to find a place suitable for pumping (especially when at work or out of the home), hook yourself up to a contraption, sit up, be relaxed, wait for milk to come, wait for enough milk to be gathered, watch for when pumping is done, store the collected milk (bottle or bag; cooler, fridge, or freezer), and then hope beyond hope that every single drop will be consumed and nothing will go to waste.

Pumping isn't quite as acceptable to do in front of others like nursing can be, so typically you have to isolate yourself in another room or area.  For working moms, this could mean using your breaks when you usually meet up with friends and colleagues (or just take a break to eat and relax) to hide away in a bathroom or office to pump.  Or, if pumping while company is over, this means going off to a different room, and missing out on the conversation or social time with friends or family.

3. Babies are more efficient.  What a baby could take 10-15 minutes to complete, pumping takes much longer (at least for me; maybe other moms out there have better luck).  To fill a four ounce bottle, it could take me one 30 minute session, or four 30 minute sessions, or 1 late night hour; it all depends on the time of day, when the last feeding took place, etc.

From left to right: 9:00am, 5:00pm, Midnight.

4. Some pumps are better than others.  I first purchased a manual pump since I would be staying home full-time and expected to only need to pump for occasional babysitters.  It worked alright, but I found I needed to concentrate a lot more on using the manual pump, and it took a lot of time for me to get a minimal amount of milk.

Medela® Harmony™ Manual Breastpump
Current Price Tag at Target: $34.19

Medela® Swing™ Single Electric Breastpump
Current Price Tag at Target: $159.99

Eventually, I broke down and purchased a single electric pump, which made the task go a little bit more quickly, though a double (both sides at once) pump would have been more efficient, but cost a heck of a lot more.  Obviously, the manual pump was much cheaper, but with needing additional milk for rice cereal, the electric pump has saved me some time.

5. It's okay to cry over spilt milk.  As number one above proves, it can be tricky to find the time, and energy, (and milk) for future feedings.  For number two, it can be emotionally and socially distancing to isolate yourself in order to collect milk.  Number three shows us that it's a time eater, while number four let's us know the equipment can affect how quickly the task can be completed and at what cost.  

With all that said, it's tough when the milk doesn't get used when it took a lot of effort to get it!

And here are just a few ways I've found it helpful to keep track of all things milk and pumping:

I use a permanent marker & circle stickers
to label when the milk was pumped.

Stickers are fine in the fridge or freezer,
just be sure to peel them off before washing.

I use this 31 Bag™ to store my pumping gear (main section),
user manuals (side pocket), stickers & marker (other side pocket),
though you can purchase really nice pumping bags
that are specifically designed for pumps and storage.

We're big fans of glass bottles - no BPA's, fridge & freezer friendly,
and recyclable once baby grows up! We use these
Evenflo® Four Ounce Glass bottles for feedings and storage.

So there you have it.  Hopefully, this was helpful to the new and soon-to-be mommas out there, and educational for everyone else!

~M

**These are just a few challenges that I have faced, but I'm sure there are others out there!  There can be added complications with pumping when the mother's supply is low, the baby isn't nursing well, the cost of a pump is too great, or the baby refuses to take a bottle.  Feel free to share any insights in the comments below!

Una Promesa - A Promise

View of Madrid skyline from the neighborhood where I lived in Spain, 2006

When I was debating whether I should stay home full-time or return to work, I mentioned my desire for Quincy to grow up knowing Spanish.  In order to explain what my promise to Quincy will be, I have to tell you a little bit about my history with the language and why it is so important to me.

For starters, I took my first Spanish class my Freshman year of high school, and I wasn't happy about it.  I had wanted to take French, but it wasn't offered at my school.  What was a girl to do?  French was romantic, fancy, elegant, sophisticated... and speaking French would therefore make me romantic, fancy, elegant, and sophisticated.  I decided to go with Spanish because it was practical - West Michigan has a large population of Spanish speakers - and maybe, I thought, it would come in handy.

I found out that I loved Spanish class (apart from homework, tests, and the tedious book work required to learn a language), because the sounds, the music, the variety of cultures, accents... it all fascinated me.  After graduating high school with four years of Spanish under my belt, I enrolled at Grand Valley State University, with a major in Spanish and minor in Elementary Education (the latter I later dropped).  I was able to take the CLEP test for Spanish and began courses at the 300-level my Freshman year at GVSU.

The courses were difficult, taught only in Spanish, and the professors came from a variety of backgrounds, but I greatly enjoyed each class (well, mostly - grammar and I never really became good friends).  In my classes, I met some really great girls who shared a love of language, and I learned a great deal from them.

Some of my GVSU Friends
Stacy, Stefanie, Maggie & Sharlynn

During my Junior year at GVSU, I had the opportunity to study abroad for a semester in Spain. Brad's family had hosted a student from Spain for a number of visits, and so I was able to stay with her family just outside the city of Madrid (the took photo in this post is the view of Madrid from where I lived).  

I learned the language (not just out of a book, but in real life situations, too), ate delicious food, traveled around the country, took courses at the local university as well as through my American program, and met some really great people.

Segovia, Spain

Córdoba, Spain

Cochinillo - Roast Suckling Pig

Galicia, Spain

Langostinos (Shrimp), Percebes (I guess they're called "Goose Barnacles"?)
Caracoles (Snails), & Jamón (Ham)

Toledo, Spain

Celebrating our last night in Spain with friends!
Emily, Maggie & Brit

Frauke & Maggie - Fireworks for El Día de San Isidro

Brad and I even got engaged in Spain while he came for a visit.  (Romantic, right?!  I thought so!)

At my program building, sharing the news with friends!

El Parque del Retiro, Madrid

Real Madrid Soccer Stadium

My time in Spain was such a great adventure - I learned about another culture, language, and country; I also learned a great deal about myself.

Okay, so enough reminiscing...

Now as the mother of a six month old, I am looking forward to seeing the adventures of which Quincy will partake.  My job, and that of the community of family and friends around him, is to nurture him in every way possible, teaching him what we can from the knowledge we have gained, while also teaching him a sense of curiosity and adventure - a desire to learn more.

I spent eight academic years learning another language (including the Bachelor's Degree I earned at GVSU) and I still struggle with components of the language.  Grammar makes my skin crawl, I've lost a ton of vocabulary over the years, and I blush from time to time when speaking the language.  Why should Quincy spend so much of his time learning a language, as I did, when it can be incorporated in his daily routine?  I'm not saying I'm the perfect teacher, or that my grammar and vocabulary will be that of a native speaker, but  even him knowing fruits and vegetables or basic conversation in Spanish will be a success in my book.

So here is what I have decided to do:

READ in Spanish to Quincy.  I budgeted one hundred dollars to purchase books in Spanish to read to Quincy and also to use to teach myself new vocabulary.  I probably could have gotten  a slightly better deal ordering books online, but I went to the local Barnes & Noble so I could page through the books and see which ones would be good to have in the house.  I tried to get a variety of books: some with nursery rhymes and songs, others filled with pictures of everyday vocabulary, a few biblical books to encourage his faith in another language, and some familiar childhood books that I can remember reading (in English) with my parents.

One hundred dollars may seem like a lot, but I consider these books a great investment and should last for a while.  This way, we have a variety of books to read instead of cycling through the same three books several times a day.  A handful of the books have several stories (one has 365 stories and nursery rhymes!) so we will have different tales to read through as he grows!

SPEAK with Quincy in Spanish.  In talking about this promise with Brad, we decided that I would speak strictly in Spanish with Quincy when others aren't around.  Not that I want to make Quincy timid about speaking around others, but I want him to to be aware that speaking a language around others that do not understand could give them a feeling of alienation.  When Brad is around, English will be the primary language, but once it's just me and Quincy (or with other Spanish speakers), it'll just be Spanish. This obviously means while we play at home, but also out and about at the grocery store, running other errands, going for walks, etc.

This also means I had to make a decision about my accent.  From living in Spain, I have a rather (strong) Spanish accent, complete with the "Spanish lisp" (read more about ceceo and seseo here).  I've always held on strongly to my accent, since it shows where my language skills were nurtured and enhanced.  To be honest, it also helped distinguish certain words from others.  The pronunciation of hacer and a ser is very different with a Spanish accent, but is less distinguishable in a Latin American accent.  For those of you unfamiliar with the typical Spanish accent (I should note that there are a variety of accents besides the one I am familiar with, depending on the region of Spain), the word "gracias" is pronounced like "graTHiaS" (the "TH" here sounds like the same letter combination found at the end of the English word "with").  The letter S still has the same sound you would use in English, but all words with Z's and soft C's (ce- and ci-) are presented with the "TH" sound.

Our community has a very large hispanic population (about 22% of the total population), but does not have strong ties to Spain.  Most hispanics in the area are from Mexico (16.7% of the total population), while others are from Puerto Rico or Cuba (read more statistics here).  It would make more sense to have an accent that matched better with the local speakers, so I am making the adjustment to a more commonly recognized accent in my area.

SEEK out cultural events, playgroups and music that encourages cultural diversity.  This doesn't solely have to be related to Spanish or the local hispanic community.  I have a very dear friend in Germany (we met in Spain, actually) that we have kept in contact with and have visited each other over the years and plan on keeping up the tradition of crossing the ocean to hang out.

Brad, Maggie, Frauke & Marcel - Chicago 2007

Frauke & Maggie - Germany 2010

Michigan - Summer 2011
Stacey, Maggie, Brad, Doug, Sheryl, Marcel & Frauke

Beyond the international friends that Brad and I have, I also want to expose Quincy to new music, food, and cool festivals.  This may be easier said than done, but I'll see what I can find!  (Feel free to leave comments about recommendations of food, music, cultural events or playgroups you may know of!)  We obviously have the local tradition of Tulip Time, but we also established a tradition of attending the Garlic Festival when we lived out East.  We plan on going again this year!

Friends at Garlic Festival 2010
Chelsea, Christian, Monica, Jessica, Marcus, Maggie & Brad

WORK hard.  This will be a big challenge to relearn the vocabulary I have lost, study new vocabulary that we encounter along the way, and not give up when it gets a little tough.  For me, this means looking up words that I don't know, making an effort to always speak in Spanish, and haul out my old grammar book to brush up on the rules.

My new companion

All of these things I promise to do with and for Quincy so that he can grow up knowing more about the cultures and people around him, and have a natural curiosity to seek out new people, food, cultures... all things that will help him understand our worldly community more fully.

Special thanks to my Facebook friends that grew up in a multi-cultural home or have encouraged their own children to grow up speaking another language.  Your input and advice was really great to hear and use as I work on this promise to Quincy.  Feel free to leave comments below for any further advice, questions, resources, or tips - whether you are multi-lingual or just interested!

Got any promises you are working on in your life?  Share in the comments!

¡Buena suerte!

~M